Decision Making - The Other Half

This is Part 3 of Decision Making, based upon Spencer Johnson’s book, "Yes" or "No." We have already looked at the “logical” side of decision-making. We have asked ourselves "Am I meeting the Real Need, Informing Myself of Options, and Thinking It Through?" We can review our past decisions to see how we went about making those decisions and what the results were, good and bad. The point is to learn from the past without beating ourselves up about how those decisions turned out. We did the best we could do at the time.

Now, let’s move on to the other side of the process of decision-making. We will make even better decisions when we learn to look into our heart for confirmation after we have asked the head questions. Most people make their decisions emotionally and then look for logical reasons to justify the decision they already made. It works better when we involve the feelings and the head simultaneously.  The second set of questions is: “Does My Decision Show I Am Honest with Myself, Trust My Intuition, and Deserve Better?”  

We need to make decisions in integrity, that is, telling ourselves the truth. The consequences, down the road,  of a decision which is based in illusion will generally be much harder to deal with than dealing with the illusion now. We need to ask ourselves what are our beliefs about (1) our integrity, (2) our intuition, and (3) our insight into our own worth.  The more aware we are of our own character, the more often we make better decisions. We will only use those portions of our character we think have real value for us in making our decisions, so our decisions depend on how we view our character and they also reveal our character.

One way of finding the truth is by identifying the illusion, or fiction, we would rather believe and then looking for it’s opposite. If we can’t see the illusion our friends and family can help us see it if we can get our ego out of the way. Our challenge is to discover the truth; once we see the truth the decision is obvious.  

How do we learn to trust our intuition? Our intuition is our unconscious knowledge based on our personal experience and our “gut” reactions to events in the moment. Again, look back at decisions we made in the past and see how we felt at the time we were making them. Did we force the issue? Did we feel anxious or enthusiastic? Did it feel clear or confused? Did we feel stressed or peaceful? How did those decisions work out?  

Most of the negative fear responses freeze us. We then force a decision that we are not happy with because we are afraid.  We need to ask “What would I do if I were not afraid?”  Feeling the fear is okay, but we need to learn to acknowledge it, see where it comes from and then move ahead with the decision that is not fear based.  Decisions made with enthusiasm tend to have a better outcome that those made in fear. If the decision doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Our intuition is working; we just need to pay better attention to it.

Next week we will cover the last part of this question: Does my decision show I deserve better? Now there’s a can of worms.

Debby Riddick

http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

How are your goals coming? Check in with your subconscious mind!

 This is something that gave me a lot of trouble for a long time.  I resisted the idea that “thoughts are things” and the implications that had for me.  I have always been a positive person.  I never dwelt on the negative.  I was not interested in watching TV or listening to radio, especially talk radio.  Perhaps that is why I was not a negative person.  But in order for me to accept responsibility for my own circumstances I had to learn about quantum mechanics.

Dr. Rhine of Duke University and his associates did extensive testing that showed the validity of telepathy and clairvoyance.  But what are these really?  Screens, walls and distances seem to have no effect on the ability of two people to communicate.  The more awake and alert the participants are the better the results.  The United States government and Stanford University were very active in studying remote viewing and mind influence during World War II and thereafter.  The amount of money put into pursuing this by the government seems to give a certain amount of credibility to it.

Lynne McTaggart has written two books in which she chronicles the history of research around the world studying how our minds connect to each other. There are studies showing the ability of our mind even to influence a machine.  Jesus told us that “where two or more are gathered in my name” praying in agreement, the prayer would be answered.   Napoleon Hill says this is the power of the mastermind group:  A few like minded folks sitting down together and focusing on a problem at hand will not only draw ideas out of each other, but also out of the mind of God.

But there is more to it than this.  Masaru Emoto relays the story of a monk and a group of 350 folks praying over Lake Biwa, the largest lake in Japan. The lake was horribly polluted.  The newspaper reported the next month that the putrid algae, which appeared each year and caused an unbearable stench, had failed to show up.  The stories go on and on and on.

Our subconscious minds connect to the Infinite through our creative imagination.  We are able to gain access to sources of knowledge completely outside our own experience.  This makes me think of how often a couple of people around the world are working on something in the area of health or science and a breakthrough is achieved simultaneously, even though they have never heard of the work of the other person.  The knowledge of mankind is at the point for that breakthrough to occur and the scientists are tapping into it. 

But how does this apply to us achieving our goals?  First of all, we have the power and inspiration available to us achieve anything which we truly want.  We need to make the definite decision to go for it, get together a mastermind group, and purposefully connect  with each other in a mind alliance asking our subconscious minds to bring to our creative minds the ideas to reach our goals.  Then make a plan based on those ideas and get started !

Debby Riddick

http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

Decision Making - What is The Real Need ?

Last time, from Spencer Johnson’s book Yes or No, we learned that we need to use both our head and our heart to make the best decisions. We use our head by asking the first question: “Am I meeting the real need, informing myself of options and thinking it through?” We must answer either “yes” or “no” to the question. No “maybes.”

If the answer is “no” we keep going. We ask: “Is this something I merely want?” or “Is this something I really need?” We may want a Ferrari, but what we really need is a car to get to work. We have to make the decision based on the real need. We can go back and work on what we want later.

We need to focus on the results in such detail that we can actually see ourselves at the point where we have achieved them. This focus helps us say no to everything else until it is achieved. Once we have made this decision, the daily choices are easy. Does this action help me achieve my goal, my real need, or not? If the answer is no, then we don’t do it.

Spencer Johnson gives us a great way to separate the needs and wants: To see what we merely want, we ask “What do I wish I could do?” To see what we really need we ask “What would I like to have done?” looking back on it from the future.

Once we have done that, we need to be sure that we are looking at all the options. When we think we don’t have any options we need to remember that we just aren’t aware of them right now. We need to gather information, but only what is actually needed to make the decision. It is too easy to get buried in facts that don’t focus on the need. They just distract us. We need to gather information and then validate it for ourselves.

When we feel frozen with fear we need to just get started. Ask “If I don’t have the information, who does?” “What is the best way to get it?” “Have I verified it myself?” That will lead to more information and so on. Pretty soon we are able to see that there are choices we weren’t even aware of.

The last step in this part of the process is thinking it through. We can start by looking at our past decisions and learning from them. When we got bad results what had we done wrong in making the decision? When we got good results what had we done right in making the decision?

We can improve our future results by asking “then what? … then what? … then what?” for each of the options we are looking at. We often make the mistake of assuming that it is only a short-term decision, but quite often there are long-term repercussions. So carry each option out to the future.


Stay tuned for the next installment, Feelings.

Debby Riddick

http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

Making Better Decisions

For the next couple of weeks I want to share some thoughts from a book that has been a great help to me, Yes or No by Spencer Johnson. This is a book that teaches us a method for making consistently better decisions. Where we are in life is largely the result of decisions we have made, or not made. Johnson has discovered a pretty foolproof system for knowing how to "say ‘Yes’ to what works well for each of us and ‘No’ to what doesn’t.”

Our poor decisions cause problems in all areas of our lives – with our families, our finances, and our work. The act of putting off a decision because we are afraid of making a mistake is a decision in and of itself. We don’t have to make perfect decisions; we just need to make better decisions. A better decision is one where we feel better about how we made the decision and we get better results.

Most people have heard the axiom that the definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If we don’t know what to do, the first step is to stop what we are doing right now. We need to stop the behavior, based on the poor decision, which has become familiar and comfortable, even though it is not working for us, and create a void so that we can fill it with something better. As long as we are busy acting in the old way, the better way will not present itself.

So step one is to stop doing what we are currently doing and ask ourselves some questions. We need to make our initial decision in our normal way and then ask a cool head question and a warm heart question. Most of use one or the other, but better decisions are made when we take advantage of all the faculties we have. For example, use your logical mind to figure out what makes sense and then ask your heart how you feel about that; check in with some other folks in your Mastermind group; make the decision and act on it.

By using this system every time for every decision we will make better decisions overall. It doesn’t mean that we will never make a mistake, but it does mean that we will make more good decisions. As we perfect this process those decisions will get better and better.

Stay tuned for the next installment, The Real Need

Debby Riddick

http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

My top 15 books that have given me my philosophy on life

Since I posted my top 10 books about network marketing and saIes I thought I would give you my top 15 books that have had an influence on my philosophy.

Everything we read, listen to and watch has an influence on our life. I believe that Thoughts are Things. Choose carefully what you put into your mind.

I couldn't keep it to 10, so here are my top 15.

1. THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz. A simple philosophy that can change our world if we let it.

2. SUCCESS THROUGH A POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE by Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone. The first book I ever read about positive thinking and the power of our thoughts.

3. I DARE YOU by William Danforth. Originally published in 1942 and privately printed for his employees and friends, still relevant today. His American Youth Foundation is still distributing copies and challenging youth today.

4. THE CHOICE by Og Mandino. It's hard to choose only one of Og's books. Every one is great.

5. THE LOST CHOICE by Andy Andrews. Every choice we make counts and every choice has the power to change lives.

6. BEYOND POSITIVE THINKING by Dr.Robert Anthony. I read this book 3 times in 2005. It is a no nonsense formula for focusing our attention and thoughts.

7. REINVENTING YOURSELF by Steve Chandler. 100 ways to motivate yourself. Are you an owner or a victim? Find out.

8. THE DARK SIDE OF THE LIGHT CHASERS by Debbie Ford. Reclaim your power and your dreams.

9. THE HIDDEN MESSAGES IN WATER by Masaru Emoto. This made the invisible web that connects all things more amazing than ever to me.

10. THE POWER OF NOW by Eckhart Tolle. We all tend to live in the past and the future, but there is amazing power in being present in each moment.

11. THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE by Stephen R. Covey. A classic.

12. THE POWER OF ENCOURAGEMENT by Dr. David Jeremiah. Do you want to see massive changes in those around you? Then read this and discover exactly what the title says.

13. PASSIONATE PRESENCE by Catherine Ingram. It taught me the acceptance of my own inner knowing of spirituality.

14. THE FIVE THINGS WE CANNOT CHANGE by David Richo. We find happiness by embracing the 5 inevitable things in life: Everything changes and ends, Things do not always go according to plan, Life is not always fair, Pain is a part of life, and People are not loving and loyal all the time.

15. LEVERAGING THE UNIVERSE AND ENGAGING THE MAGIC by Mike Dooley. A kind of fun way to get the essence of a benevolent and loving universe.

Hope you find some of this interesting and helpful. They all had an influence on me.

Debby Riddick
http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

It's All About Teamwork

Have you ever heard the saying "It's all about teamwork"? I have. Usually in the context of a coach or boss trying to get me to do something that didn't feel very good. Something that felt like I was being taken advantage of. Something that seemed to work for the coach/boss, not for me. Here's the problem: It really IS about the team. Your team. Your family. Your network marketing group.

We need to stand by each other. We need to do what we can to help each other. In supporting each other we develop the kind of relationships that last through time and circumstances. When we are strong, when we have the time and resources to be there for someone else we need to do that. There will come a day in each of our lives when we will need someone to be there for us.

This is a great video which has been pieced together of folks all over the world singing song. It is from You Tube and is called: Playing For Change: Song Around the World "Stand By Me"

Stand By Me,

Debby Riddick

http://DRiddick.bigmlmsecrets.com

My Top 10 books on Sales and Network Marketing

One of my mentors asked us to send in a list of our top 10 books for sales and/or network marketing.  Here are mine:

1.  THE GREATEST SALESMAN IN THE WORLD by Og Mandino.  This was the first book I read that spoke to me about "thoughts are things" when I was in my 20's.  Actually anything by Og  is fantastic.

2.  THINK AND GROW RICH by Napoleon Hill.  I have studied this book twice before, but I never really studied it to the point that I "got it."  This time with my Mental Cleanse mastermind group it is really getting deeper.  Read this again and again.

3.  BEYOND POSITIVE THINKING by Dr. Robert Anthony.  This was the first book that gave me a framework for affirmations and mental practices.  This is worth really studying.

4.  THE FOUR SPIRITUAL LAWS by Don Miguel Ruiz.  This really gave me a look into my thinking and the basics of spirituality.

5.  THE FIELD by Lynne McTaggart.  I started to have some questions about the legitimacy of this whole "thinking" thing and I found this book which goes into the history of quantum mechanics and how our thinking affects our reality.

6.  THE GREATEST NETWORKER IN THE WORLD by John Milton Fogg.  After having been in and out of 5 or 6 MLM companies which used the old hard-sell methods I found a copy of this book and it dramatically changed my view of network marketing.

7.  SPIRITUAL ECONOMICS by Eric Butterworth.  A great book on money and spirituality.  It fixed by thinking on abundance.

8.  TWELVE PILLARS by Jim Rohn and Chris Widener.  A cute story that has a lot of good lessons.   I liked it so much I gave a copy to everyone I knew a couple of years ago.

9.  SUCCESS IN 10 STEPS by Michael Dlouhy.  This one changed my life and helped me to understand why I was not making it in the company I had given the last 5 years to.  It let me forgive myself for my failure there.

10.  THE 21 IRREFUTABLE LAWS OF LEADERSHIP by John Maxwell.  My favorite among quite a few great books by this author.   One of the best books I have found on the character of leadership.

Debby Riddck

http://DRiddick.bigmlmsecrets.com