If you are buying mlm leads, watch out!

Hello Professional Network Marketers,

At Mentoring For Free we are about Teaching You How to Think
Not What To Think and the education process takes time and
the effort of many.

We have educated people that buying Leads is a Scam and the
e-mails below may just give You the InSight You may have been
missing Yourself, we hope this "Truth" keeps You out of trouble.

It is against the Law to send Your offer to a OPT-IN Lead that You
bought or were gifted the lead as a bonus to join some company..

Did YOU understand what You just read ? NO, then Read it again ?

You cannot buy an OPT-IN lead of ANY kind from ANYONE then
send them Your Offer because they did NOT OPT-IN for Your Offer
they Opted-IN for the Offer that the Lead seller was offering.

If You send Your Offer to them You are guilty of SPAM and You
will be prosecuted under the Law that YOU broke.. Mentoring For
Free will be forced to shut down Your web site and charge You for
Damages of $750.00 per day.

The letter from the Go Daddy Spam and Abuse Department will
add some clarity to the "LAW" You may be guilty of breaking..

This letter was the result of someone joining GDI and was given
100,000 OPT-IN leads that had a Massive Bounce Rate and it
caused the www.BigMlmLies.com site to be shut down as well
as the company that sent the sales letter to the Spam list....

Our purpose for this e-mail is to educate You so be sure to read
what YOU will need to supply Mentoring For Free with if You are
responsible for getting any of our sites shut down, be sure to read
the second set of #1, #2, #3 that You will be asked to produce.

You cannot make this stuff up, read it for Yourself below. You may
want to send this e-mail to every Lead Broker that tries to SCAM
You.

Back to some "Critical Thinking"...........Question for You.....

Why Would a Lead Broker Sell You a Lead ( if ) they were any
good ???? Answer They Would NOT....

They would use the lead to build a home based business for
themselves that would create a walk away monthly income.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
08-11-2009

Dear Michael Dlouhy,

We have charged the $199 fee to the credit card on file for your
account. GoDaddy will consider you a participant in our Abuse
Enforcement Program (also known as Go Daddy's AEP Program).

There are a few actions you can take to ensure that everything
goes smoothly.

1. Log into your Go Daddy account and change the administrative
contact for each domain name to the email address you submitted
as the primary contact, ABUSE@MichaelDlouhy.com and
change the technical contact for each domain name to the
address you submitted as the secondary contact,
Mentor51@tampabay.rr.com.

This will ensure that you receive all warning messages. You
can modify your entire list of domain names at once (contact
Go Daddy's Customer Service Department at support@
supportwebsite.com or 480-505-8877 if you need help).

2. Check your email client software (Outlook, Outlook Express,
Eudora, Thunderbird, etc) to ensure that the "Customer Warning"
messages are not being filtered by any type of anti-spam feature
that your particular email client my employ.

The "Customer Warning" messages you receive are auto-
generated, many spam filters will not allow the delivery of
auto generated messages. Most email clients will allow you
to "whitelist" email messages from individual domain names
or email addresses so that any message from a whitelisted
domain name or email address is delivered. GoDaddy.com,
SecureServer.net, DomainsByProxy.com, abuse@godaddy.
com, support@godaddy.com, abuse@secureserver.net,
support@secureserver.net, abuse@domainsbyproxy.com,
and support@domainsbyproxycom should be whitelisted.

You should not have any problems since you have responded
to the warnings you have received so far, but you may want to
keep this in mind if you make any changes.

3. Monitor these addresses diligently and responding to any
warning messages. If the "Customer Warning" messages you
receive go unanswered for longer than 5 days the domain in
question is suspended. I would strongly recommend that you
assign someone the task of checking these addresses each
day and answering any warning messages immediately.

The subject lines for these warnings are hard to miss, they will
look like this: CUSTOMER WARNING - BIGMLMLIES.COM.

4. Implement some type of control or procedure that will
enable you to easily monitor and police your clients. Many
customers utilize a naming convention of some sort that
places an ID# or Ad# within the referral URL that will identify
the sender of the message. You may already have some
sort of payment system in place for identifying your clients;
many AEP participants tie this into their advertisement
identification or tracking scheme.

5. Notify your clients/affiliates that you are paying special
attention to this potential problem. Place a "No Spam" policy
on your site and/or notify your clients via email of this new
commitment to enforce this policy.

6. Set up an email inbox for your domain name so you can
receive complaints at Abuse@Your domain name.

From this point forward Go Daddy will supply your company
with each complaint we receive in order to allow you to enforce
Go Daddy's anti-spam policy. All that we ask is that you
terminate the services of any individual that cannot provide
conclusive proof of prior consent to receive the offending
message. Conclusive proof of prior consent can be provided
by supplying the information outlined below.

1. Your clients/affiliate will need to provide server logs showing
when the complainant connected to your clients/affiliates site
and subscribed, opted-in, or consented to receive marketing
information from your clients/affiliates. This information must
include the following:

* Time/Date of opt-in/subscription/consent.
* IP address of the web server the complainant used to
connect to your site.
* Referral URL.

2. Your clients/affiliate will need to provide a detailed explanation
of how the example email address was obtained, your clients/
affiliates are encouraged to provide a copy of any confirmation
messages, complete with header information that this individual
sent to your clients/affiliates when they consented to receive
marketing information from their company.

3. In addition to the information outlined above, your clients/
affiliate will need to forward all contact information they have
for this individual along with any other relevant information
that they feel supports their claim of prior consent.

We will then investigate the validity of the information that
your clients/affiliates provide. The complainant may be
contacted to verify and/or confirm any contact information
or subscription details. If the information your clients/affiliates
provide checks out, we can probably consider these situations
an example where the complainant may have forgotten they
consented to receive your client/affiliates message.

Remember you can always email abuse@godaddy.com or
telephone 480-624-2505 if you have any questions.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely,

Spam and Abuse Department
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know that is long, but the gist is that if the person did not opt-in to your specific site and give permission for your computer to send the information, you could cause someone's site (maybe your own) to get shut down and have a mess on your hands.

Sincerely,



Be UNreasonable.

Debby Riddick
http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

You have Gifts Which are Multitudinous and Magnificent

I received a little note from Neale Donald Walsch - in his daily inspiration email. He tells us that we have gifts which are “multitudinous and magnificent” to share with the world. This reminds me of lessons I learned long ago. We are experiencing what we are right at this moment in time to gain experience, compassion, understanding, wonder, love and awe. We need this wisdom and this insight to go forward and share honestly with others so we may help them.

I grew up in a dysfunctional, abusive, alcoholic home. But I knew as a little girl that things would get better, that God was protecting me, and that I would survive to go on and help many more people. I have been able to use the lessons I learned in that home and many more as well to be a friend and sometimes a counselor to others in need.

Let your light shine! Share who you are. Give a friend a listening ear. Take the risks you are afraid to take to grow. You are worth it and the world needs what you have.

Debby Riddick,
"I am committed to YOUR Success"
http://driddick.mentoringforfree.com

An Important Passage from Albert Einstein

This passage from Albert Einstein is one of my all time favorites. In your business you must decide whether things are working for you or against you. Your basic philosophy of life will come through here. It is critical that you learn to expect little miracles to show up and happy surprises in your business and your life.

Let the following passage work it's magic for you:

"I think the most important question facing humanity is, 'Is the universe a friendly place?' This is the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves.

For if we decide that the universe is an unfriendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to achieve safety and power by creating bigger walls to keep out the unfriendliness and bigger weapons to destroy all that which is unfriendly-and I believe that we are getting to a place where technology is powerful enough that we may either completely 
isolate or destroy ourselves as well in this process.

If we decide that the universe is neither friendly nor unfriendly and that God is essentially 'playing dice with the universe', then we are simply victims to the random toss of the dice and our lives have no real purpose or meaning.
But if we decide that the universe is a friendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to create tools and models for understanding that 
universe. Because power and safety will come through understanding its workings and its motives.

A human being is a part of the whole called by us 'universe'. . . a part limited in time and space. He experiences his thoughts and feelings as separated from the rest-a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us.

Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of 
nature in its beauty."

-- Albert Einstein

Debby Riddick,
"I am committed to YOUR Success"
http://driddick.mentoringforfree.com

Do What Really Makes You Come Alive

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive."

Terry Grundy.


I love this quote. If the world were filled with people pursuing their passions, it would be a completely different place.

How would your business be different if you were doing something that truly energized you?

Are you just going through the motions because it is something that you think you should do? Or something your brother or best friend talked you into? If so, you are in trouble.

I remember a speech Deepak Chopra gave to a group of network marketers where he told them it should be easy. He said if it wasn't fun, if it wasn't easy, they should get out.

Maybe all we need to do is look at what we are doing and FIND the fun in it, look at it with fresh eyes. If your business has become a drag do something NOW to change that. Imagine what your product is going to do for someone who really needs it. Or, imagine what your business is going to do for your family finances, or your time with your family.

Figure out what motivates you and then find that in your business.

I am a Yellow personality and what motivates me is helping people, and most especially my family. So what I have to do is imagine all the people who need my help in some way. I get energized by that.

Blues love adventure and excitement so they need to focus on the fun and excitement that is in their future and the future of those they help.

Reds need to make lots of money and love to organize people so they will focus on those aspects.

Greens need to learn all about what they are doing and they love to plan. So they help everyone learn everything they need to know. They love to plan the financial security of their family. They can focus on that.

The bottom line is this - find out what truly makes you come alive; then find a way to work on that with your business.

Blessings,

Debby Riddick,
"I am committed to YOUR Success"
http://driddick.mentoringforfree.com

Think & Grow Rich, Chapter 2 - Desire

I am posting this at great personal vulnerability because I think there are a lot of you out there who can relate. I am immensely thankful that I found a group of mentors who helped me understand a lot of things about network marketing and how it works.


This is my third trip through Think and Grow Rich with MFF. I keep thinking that I have Desire all figured out. But one of the first things I noticed about this chapter as we start again is this part: "One of the chief characteristics of Barnes' Desire was that it was definite. He wanted to work with Edison, not for him." I know that I have not honed my Desire down to that level and kept it there. I still need to get my Why down to a concise statement of intent.

I have never made the commitment Hill is talking about when he tells us that "when a man really DESIRES a thing so deeply that he is willing to stake his entire future on a single turn of the wheel in order to get it, he is sure to win." I have never sold out completely. Barnes took a menial job with Edison and used that time to let his Desire focus itself until it was an all consuming obsession. He kept his options open to see what would turn up. Again Hill says "When the opportunity came, it appeared in a different form, and from a different direction than Barnes had expected. That is one of the tricks of opportunity. It has a sly habit of slipping in by the back door, and often it comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat. Perhaps this is why so many fail to recognize opportunity."

I gave 5 years of what I thought was all out effort, 7 days a week and most nights, to my last company; but I have to honestly say that I was not totally sold out in my belief. I knew that some people were making a lot of money and had lots of freedom, but I always held back from giving it Everything emotionally because I was afraid of what it would ask of me. I didn't believe that I could do the same thing they were without compromising my ethics and my family. I gave up a lot of time with my family over the 5 years and as time went on I stayed with it because I didn't want their sacrifice of my time to be for nothing. Hill also teaches us about the value of persistence in the story about Mr. Darby and the gold mine. I didn't want to stop "three feet from my goal" so I kept on even after I had lost all hope in the enterprise. (By the way it was/is NOT a 5 pillar company.) Mr. Darby's uncle taught us to never accept no from life - that little girl would not accept no from Darby's uncle. We need to be just as intent on getting our goals.

One thing I have read is that I need to keep asking "Why?" after each of the things I have on my list to get at the feeling that I am after. When I do that I get two things: freedom and significance. I want a life of freedom and significance. I don't know what to do with that because it seems so nebulous; yet in a way it is very freeing. I don't have to tie my Why to a specific act or level in business. Instead I am free to use my actions and my business to achieve my goal. My burning desire is for a feeling, an emotion; and there is more than one way to get at that feeling. I can allow the Universe/God the freedom to use me and my life in ways I might never be able to imagine. The feelings will come when I demand from life what is most important to me -freedom and significance- while allowing the Universe creative license in how to achieve that, coupled with unshakable faith and persistence.

Thank you Michael, Marcello and Jerry for your belief and mentorship,

Debby Riddick

http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

How to Outwit the Six Ghosts of Fear

Chapter 15 of Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

This is a lesson I did recently for a Master Mind group I am part of.

I have been trying to find a way to cover this whole chapter and I can't seem to do it. Here is a small part.

Hill gives us the 6 basic fears: poverty, criticism, ill health, loss of someones love, old age, and death.

I want to focus on the first one because that seems to be such a huge thing right now. It seems like everywhere you look people are scared to death of losing everything - their job, their car, their house, their retirement.

Man can create NOTHING which he does not first conceive in the form of an impulse of thought. Hill tells us also that if we leave our mind unattended we will be beset by the vibration/impact of all the thoughts others are throwing out there. With all the attention being focused on our supposed recession it is dangerous to not be in control of our mind. The economy is driven by emotion. Our emotions drive our spending habits, and our spending habits drive the economy. Any economist will agree with this statement. They only differ in the solutions they propose.

We need to close our mind to these thoughts and only admit thought impulses of our own choosing.
Fears are nothing but a state of mind. A state of mind can be changed.

We just need to follow Hill's plan to reach those dreams and goals we have. The first step is Desire. This desire needs to be a white hot, burning desire. It needs to be specific and detailed. Take time to write out your specific dream.

If we are Willing to accept poverty that is exactly what we are going to get. It is all a state of mind. Sometimes we just want the attention we get by complaining and
whining about What If .... I loved it where Hill said "Planning what to do IF AND WHEN OVERTAKEN BY FAILURE, INSTEAD OF BURNING ALL BRIDGES AND
MAKING RETREAT IMPOSSIBLE" was one of the signs of Fear of Poverty. We need the desire and then we need to take action on it, believing that we are headed in the right direction. No more doubt; no more worry; no more procrastination.

I think that I have struggled a lot more personally with the fear of criticism. I spent too much of my life seeking approval from others. It had some upsides such as making me a hard worker, but the stress, the perfectionism, and frustration were much more devastating. I still fight that, but I am getting better all the time; especially in my relationships.

But this path of growth is never-ending. Self development is a must. I have cut the chatter and focused my efforts. Because of this Master Mind group I am on my way to owning my life.

I encourage you to spend time in reflection. Have you written out your why? What is there in your life that you are no longer willing to put up with? What do you want your friends and family to remember about you when you are gone? Do you spend time in self development and in learning about your business?

Debby Riddick

http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

Are You Unreasonable ?

George Bernard Shaw said "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

Have you adapted yourself to the world around you and settled for what everyone else says is normal?

Have you forgotten your dreams because everyone around you says that they are too big?

Have you ......

Dream BIG.

Be UNreasonable.

Debby Riddick
http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

Anita Roddick, one of my favorite leaders

I have the utmost respect for Anita Roddick who built The Body Shop from a tiny little business to a leader in the world. She was focused on building a business which would allow women to make good money and control their financial future. Her death has been a blow to the company.

Here is what made her so great:

"But if you can create an honorable
livelihood, where you take your skills
and use them and you earn a living from
it, it gives you a sense of freedom and
allows you to balance your life the way
you want."

Great quote from Thoreau

"I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings."

— Henry David Thoreau
American Author and Philosopher

The Pyramid of Success by Coach John Wooden

It has been a few years since I ran across this Pyramid, but it is a perfect model to follow in building this or any other endeavor in life. Coach wooden taught his players skills on the basketball court and off. He never told the team "Let's go Win this Game." He always told them to go out there and do their best. He said that if each one did their best, then it was a successful game. He is widely acknowledged as the best basketball coach ever, and I would say the best coach ever, period.

Basically, here's how it works. Each level of the pyramid is dependent upon the level beneath it for support. So you need to develop and focus on the skills from the bottom level of the pyramid up. I will take more time with each one in subsequent blogs; but here's the list in order. Note that the skills and competitiveness are at the top. Taking control of ourselves is first.

1. Industriousness
2. Friendship
3. Loyalty
4. Cooperation
5. Enthusiasm
6. Self-Control
7. Alertness
8. Initiative
9. Intentness
10. Condition
11. Skill
12. Team Spirit
13. Poise
14. Confidence
15. Competitive

Relationship Marketing

Network marketing is all about relationships and becoming the person others would like to join in business.  Sure, there are skills you have to learn to use the internet to build your business and take it beyond just your local area, but the largest part of any home based business is creating relationships.

Learning to understand others' personalities and how to best help them is a big part of that. Mentoring for Free offers free training in many areas, especially in understanding personality types using Colors. There is also a CD available.

Most people agree that they would want to work with someone who could bring more laughter and joy into their lives.  Let's learn how to do that for others.  Even if we can only do it for a minute, or an hour, or a day.  

Our emotions are our indicators of whether we are in alignment with the things we want.  When we are sad or frustrated we are not doing something that is in keeping with our deepest desires. So when we are having fun creating our home based business, we are on the right track. And when we get others to laugh and have fun when we interact with them, they see that that they can achieve those things that are most important to them while building a business with us.  That is what we want, isn't it?

WE are our most important product.  People want to know if they can do this business, and they want to know if we can teach them how to do it. A big part of that is whether we can help them enjoy doing it.

Debby Riddick

http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

Are you perplexed by the law of attraction?

Think of it this way. Only certain types of insects or bugs are attracted to a particular type of tree. Right? Well, you are the same way. If you are giving off the vibes of an oak tree you are going to attract certain things. If you are giving off the vibes of a pine tree you will attract other things. Your "type" is determined by what you feed your mind and your emotions. What you are attracting today is the result of what you have thought in the past. To change what comes to you in the future change what you are thinking right now. No TV news. No negative people. No negative self talk. It is worth it.

Debby Riddick

http://helpformlm.blogspot.com

Be a Go Giver

This is a simple post today.

If you have not gotten a copy of The Go Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann, you need to do it today and read it.

When we get our priorities straight, success comes naturally.  There is a lot more to success from our "inside" than from our activity.

Blessings,

Debby Riddick

Dr. Seuss Can Help You Succeed in Network Marketing

Here is a great quote from Theodor Seuss Geisel, popularly known as Dr. Seuss:  "You have brains in your head.  You have feet in your shoes.  You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  You're on your own, and you know what you know.  And you are the one who'll decide where you'll go." Take that quote and apply it to the 4 basics of achieving your goal in network marketing: Vision, Drive, Focus and Direction. 

If you have ever had a mentor, they have asked you first to set a goal.  But it needs to be a passionate goal; this is your Vision.  And there needs to be a strong "Why." This goal needs to be specific, written down in the present tense, with a target date, and measurable.  This is not some mere "It would be nice to be rich" kind of thing.  From here we will break down this big goal and make intermediate goals, and then short term goals.

After that we need to have Drive.  Drive is the motivation to pursue that vision through all kinds of diversions and difficulties.  We can only have that drive if we are truly passionate about where we want to go and why we want to go there.  A good example of this is wanting to help your ailing parent or be able to send your kids to the college of their dreams IF this is more important to you than your comfort at the time.  The Vision has to motivate you to do things that are outside your comfort zone, even when you are tired.

Third, we need to have Focus.  Focus is the ability to look at what we want and sort out a very specific portion of the general plan into which we will direct our efforts.  Let's take an example of using social networks to build a list of friends and contacts.  You can go out there and sign up on 10 or 20 different networks and build lists of thousands of contacts or "friends."  But the value in social networking is in actually developing relationships with people.  How can you possibly focus on that diverse a group?  Choose a couple places that look like a good fit and focus your efforts there.  The same concept could apply to how many companies you try to represent.  Your time will be a lot more productive if you focus your efforts in one area.

The last area is Direction.  Direction can be provided by your upline, your company training, and mentors outside your company as well.  We all need feedback about what we are doing. We need to make our plans, go for it, look at the results, and then adjust.   The adjustments we will make are based on our results and the feedback of mentors and upline.  This is a business where we can wander around lost for a long time if we don't take advice from folks who have been around a lot longer.

Dr. Seuss lets us know that we have everything we need to succeed in network marketing.  We have the brains, heart and determination to succeed.  Our success will depend on our own work ethic.  But, please be sure that you allow others with successful track records and experience to help you with the learning process.

Debby Riddick

http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

Fear of Poverty

I did a lesson review of chapter 15 of Napoleon Hill’s book Think and Grow Rich for a mentorship group which I am part of and I wanted to share it with you because I think it has such widespread application today.

There is a ton of content in the last chapter of Napoleon Hill's book. He talks about the six ghosts of fear.  The first 3, fear of poverty, fear of criticism, and fear of ill health are really at the root of all other fears.  The other three are the fear of the loss of someone's love, the fear of old age, and the fear of death.  But from here what Hill spends most of the chapter talking about is the fear of poverty.  Nature has given us only one thing over which we have total control and that is our thoughts.  It has been proven time and time again that our thoughts are things.  They bring about in physical reality that which we think about with great feeling.  And fear and worry are Very strong feelings.

We can either be in control of our thoughts and, therefore, our future or we can let our mind be filled with what Hill calls "the tramp thought impulses which are being released by other brains."  There can be no compromise on this.  The road which leads to riches and the road which leads to poverty are in opposite directions.  Hill is careful to point out that he is talking about riches in the broadest sense: financial, spiritual, mental and material estates.  If we are willing to accept poverty in any of these areas we may as well make up our mind to be there. If we demand riches in any form we are to determine in what form and how much will be required to satisfy us. This is not a gentle "well I would like to be...”  No this is an absolute demand that says "I will accept nothing less than..."  The path to riches demands but one thing and that is a state of mind that has no room for poverty.    

Hill lists the symptoms of the fear of poverty: indifference, indecision, doubt, worry, over-caution and procrastination.  If I had to pick my greatest fault here it would be procrastination.  This is symptom of the fear of poverty.  If I truly believed with all my being in the success of my endeavor, whatever it is, would I hesitate about giving it everything I had?  No I would not.  And how we do one thing in life is how we do all things in life.  Therefore, I have to assume that my procrastination in many areas of my life means there is fear behind it.  This is where self talk and affirmations and turning off the TV come into play.  We need to remove ourselves from the constant negative bombardment and the selling of fear on TV.

Hill addresses his critics who ask why he is always talking about money.  I love this passage by Westbrook Pegler which Hill quotes: "money is only clam shells or metal discs or scraps of paper, and there are treasures of the heart and soul which money cannot buy, but most people, being broke, are unable to keep this in mind and sustain their spirits.  When a man is down and out and on the street, unable to get any job at all, something happens to his spirit which can be observed in the droop of his shoulders, the set of his hat, his walk and his gaze. He cannot escape a feeling of inferiority among people with regular employment, even though he knows they are definitely not is equals in character, intelligence or ability...."  There is so much warning for us in these times.  We need to believe in ourselves and our power to change our circumstances by hard work and thought control.

The fear of criticism comes in here.  We feel that if we cannot get a job, pay our bills right now, etc. that things will never get any better. Then we imagine that everyone is criticizing us.  Because we fear others' judgments we are robbed of our initiative, our power of imagination, our individuality, and our self-reliance.  We make decisions based out of fear, and decisions which are made out of fear will never yield the results we want.  Here Hill gives us another checklist to see if the fear of criticism is working against us.  The symptoms are self-consciousness, lack of poise, personality weakness, inferiority complex, extravagance, lack of initiative, and lack of ambition. 

Worry is a state of mind based upon fear.  It is slow but insidious.  Hill says "Worry is a form of sustained fear caused by indecision; therefore it is a state of mind which can be controlled... We do not worry over conditions, once we have reached a decision to follow a definite line of action... Kill the habit of worry, in all its forms, by reaching a general blanket decision that nothing which life has to offer is worth the price of worry."

Once we have made this decision we will have poise, peace of mind and calmness. I have found this to be very true. When you are able to let go of the worry it is as if a 1000 pound weight has been lifted off your shoulders.  So, let’s all focus on possibilities and make a firm decision to believe in our future.

Debby Riddick
http://Squidoo.com/DRiddick

 

Better Decision Making. Do I Deserve Better?

Well, we've looked at the head question and the first two parts of the heart question.  The thing that quite often holds us back is the last part of this heart question: Do I deserve better?  A lot of us seem to hold on to a hidden belief that we do not really deserve any better. Have you ever looked back and realized that you sabotaged something and you can't figure out why?

"Who do you think you are?"  How many of us heard that when we were growing up?  But that misses the point.  It is not that we deserve any better than anyone else - we all deserve better than what we are doing to ourselves - what we are getting right now, don't we?  We think we do.  But what do our actions show?  There is a continuum of thinking -- knowing -- believing.   It is very easy to say "I deserve better."  That is a head statement, a thinking statement.  Then we come to a point where we know on a deeper level that we really do deserve better, but we doubt we can have it.  Lastly comes a true belief that you really DO deserve better, and here we are willing to take actions toward that because we believe we can actually have it.

If you want to find out what you really believe, look at what you do.  Especially what you do over and over again.  I am sure we have all made decisions when we knew that we should get more information, but we didn't.  Why would we purposely do something that we knew would get less-than-desirable results?  Because deep down in our hearts we don't really believe we deserve that success.  We keep ourselves in our comfort zone.

So, if we realize we don't believe we really deserve better, what do we do?  Ask, "What would I do if I did deserve better?"  Then do it!   We don't need to wait until we believe it.  We just need to take action based on that better decision.  When our actions are better, things get better.  The belief will come.  

Now, a quick recap.  Ask the head question: "Am I meeting the real need, informing myself of options, and thinking it through?"  Then make the conditional decision.  Next, check in with your heart by asking: "Does my decision show I am honest with myself, trust my intuition, and deserve better?"  When we have asked the heart question, quite often we will realize that we have not been honest with ourselves or do not trust our intuition/heart.  Then we need to go back and re-make that head part of our decision.  This will lead us to a much better decision.

Our ability to make good decisions in all areas of our lives is critical to our success in business and in family life.  Make a small map of this decision making process and carry it with you or tack it on the wall by the computer/desk.  The results will amaze you!

Debby Riddick

http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

Decision Making - The Other Half

This is Part 3 of Decision Making, based upon Spencer Johnson’s book, "Yes" or "No." We have already looked at the “logical” side of decision-making. We have asked ourselves "Am I meeting the Real Need, Informing Myself of Options, and Thinking It Through?" We can review our past decisions to see how we went about making those decisions and what the results were, good and bad. The point is to learn from the past without beating ourselves up about how those decisions turned out. We did the best we could do at the time.

Now, let’s move on to the other side of the process of decision-making. We will make even better decisions when we learn to look into our heart for confirmation after we have asked the head questions. Most people make their decisions emotionally and then look for logical reasons to justify the decision they already made. It works better when we involve the feelings and the head simultaneously.  The second set of questions is: “Does My Decision Show I Am Honest with Myself, Trust My Intuition, and Deserve Better?”  

We need to make decisions in integrity, that is, telling ourselves the truth. The consequences, down the road,  of a decision which is based in illusion will generally be much harder to deal with than dealing with the illusion now. We need to ask ourselves what are our beliefs about (1) our integrity, (2) our intuition, and (3) our insight into our own worth.  The more aware we are of our own character, the more often we make better decisions. We will only use those portions of our character we think have real value for us in making our decisions, so our decisions depend on how we view our character and they also reveal our character.

One way of finding the truth is by identifying the illusion, or fiction, we would rather believe and then looking for it’s opposite. If we can’t see the illusion our friends and family can help us see it if we can get our ego out of the way. Our challenge is to discover the truth; once we see the truth the decision is obvious.  

How do we learn to trust our intuition? Our intuition is our unconscious knowledge based on our personal experience and our “gut” reactions to events in the moment. Again, look back at decisions we made in the past and see how we felt at the time we were making them. Did we force the issue? Did we feel anxious or enthusiastic? Did it feel clear or confused? Did we feel stressed or peaceful? How did those decisions work out?  

Most of the negative fear responses freeze us. We then force a decision that we are not happy with because we are afraid.  We need to ask “What would I do if I were not afraid?”  Feeling the fear is okay, but we need to learn to acknowledge it, see where it comes from and then move ahead with the decision that is not fear based.  Decisions made with enthusiasm tend to have a better outcome that those made in fear. If the decision doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Our intuition is working; we just need to pay better attention to it.

Next week we will cover the last part of this question: Does my decision show I deserve better? Now there’s a can of worms.

Debby Riddick

http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

How are your goals coming? Check in with your subconscious mind!

 This is something that gave me a lot of trouble for a long time.  I resisted the idea that “thoughts are things” and the implications that had for me.  I have always been a positive person.  I never dwelt on the negative.  I was not interested in watching TV or listening to radio, especially talk radio.  Perhaps that is why I was not a negative person.  But in order for me to accept responsibility for my own circumstances I had to learn about quantum mechanics.

Dr. Rhine of Duke University and his associates did extensive testing that showed the validity of telepathy and clairvoyance.  But what are these really?  Screens, walls and distances seem to have no effect on the ability of two people to communicate.  The more awake and alert the participants are the better the results.  The United States government and Stanford University were very active in studying remote viewing and mind influence during World War II and thereafter.  The amount of money put into pursuing this by the government seems to give a certain amount of credibility to it.

Lynne McTaggart has written two books in which she chronicles the history of research around the world studying how our minds connect to each other. There are studies showing the ability of our mind even to influence a machine.  Jesus told us that “where two or more are gathered in my name” praying in agreement, the prayer would be answered.   Napoleon Hill says this is the power of the mastermind group:  A few like minded folks sitting down together and focusing on a problem at hand will not only draw ideas out of each other, but also out of the mind of God.

But there is more to it than this.  Masaru Emoto relays the story of a monk and a group of 350 folks praying over Lake Biwa, the largest lake in Japan. The lake was horribly polluted.  The newspaper reported the next month that the putrid algae, which appeared each year and caused an unbearable stench, had failed to show up.  The stories go on and on and on.

Our subconscious minds connect to the Infinite through our creative imagination.  We are able to gain access to sources of knowledge completely outside our own experience.  This makes me think of how often a couple of people around the world are working on something in the area of health or science and a breakthrough is achieved simultaneously, even though they have never heard of the work of the other person.  The knowledge of mankind is at the point for that breakthrough to occur and the scientists are tapping into it. 

But how does this apply to us achieving our goals?  First of all, we have the power and inspiration available to us achieve anything which we truly want.  We need to make the definite decision to go for it, get together a mastermind group, and purposefully connect  with each other in a mind alliance asking our subconscious minds to bring to our creative minds the ideas to reach our goals.  Then make a plan based on those ideas and get started !

Debby Riddick

http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

Decision Making - What is The Real Need ?

Last time, from Spencer Johnson’s book Yes or No, we learned that we need to use both our head and our heart to make the best decisions. We use our head by asking the first question: “Am I meeting the real need, informing myself of options and thinking it through?” We must answer either “yes” or “no” to the question. No “maybes.”

If the answer is “no” we keep going. We ask: “Is this something I merely want?” or “Is this something I really need?” We may want a Ferrari, but what we really need is a car to get to work. We have to make the decision based on the real need. We can go back and work on what we want later.

We need to focus on the results in such detail that we can actually see ourselves at the point where we have achieved them. This focus helps us say no to everything else until it is achieved. Once we have made this decision, the daily choices are easy. Does this action help me achieve my goal, my real need, or not? If the answer is no, then we don’t do it.

Spencer Johnson gives us a great way to separate the needs and wants: To see what we merely want, we ask “What do I wish I could do?” To see what we really need we ask “What would I like to have done?” looking back on it from the future.

Once we have done that, we need to be sure that we are looking at all the options. When we think we don’t have any options we need to remember that we just aren’t aware of them right now. We need to gather information, but only what is actually needed to make the decision. It is too easy to get buried in facts that don’t focus on the need. They just distract us. We need to gather information and then validate it for ourselves.

When we feel frozen with fear we need to just get started. Ask “If I don’t have the information, who does?” “What is the best way to get it?” “Have I verified it myself?” That will lead to more information and so on. Pretty soon we are able to see that there are choices we weren’t even aware of.

The last step in this part of the process is thinking it through. We can start by looking at our past decisions and learning from them. When we got bad results what had we done wrong in making the decision? When we got good results what had we done right in making the decision?

We can improve our future results by asking “then what? … then what? … then what?” for each of the options we are looking at. We often make the mistake of assuming that it is only a short-term decision, but quite often there are long-term repercussions. So carry each option out to the future.


Stay tuned for the next installment, Feelings.

Debby Riddick

http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

Making Better Decisions

For the next couple of weeks I want to share some thoughts from a book that has been a great help to me, Yes or No by Spencer Johnson. This is a book that teaches us a method for making consistently better decisions. Where we are in life is largely the result of decisions we have made, or not made. Johnson has discovered a pretty foolproof system for knowing how to "say ‘Yes’ to what works well for each of us and ‘No’ to what doesn’t.”

Our poor decisions cause problems in all areas of our lives – with our families, our finances, and our work. The act of putting off a decision because we are afraid of making a mistake is a decision in and of itself. We don’t have to make perfect decisions; we just need to make better decisions. A better decision is one where we feel better about how we made the decision and we get better results.

Most people have heard the axiom that the definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If we don’t know what to do, the first step is to stop what we are doing right now. We need to stop the behavior, based on the poor decision, which has become familiar and comfortable, even though it is not working for us, and create a void so that we can fill it with something better. As long as we are busy acting in the old way, the better way will not present itself.

So step one is to stop doing what we are currently doing and ask ourselves some questions. We need to make our initial decision in our normal way and then ask a cool head question and a warm heart question. Most of use one or the other, but better decisions are made when we take advantage of all the faculties we have. For example, use your logical mind to figure out what makes sense and then ask your heart how you feel about that; check in with some other folks in your Mastermind group; make the decision and act on it.

By using this system every time for every decision we will make better decisions overall. It doesn’t mean that we will never make a mistake, but it does mean that we will make more good decisions. As we perfect this process those decisions will get better and better.

Stay tuned for the next installment, The Real Need

Debby Riddick

http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

My top 15 books that have given me my philosophy on life

Since I posted my top 10 books about network marketing and saIes I thought I would give you my top 15 books that have had an influence on my philosophy.

Everything we read, listen to and watch has an influence on our life. I believe that Thoughts are Things. Choose carefully what you put into your mind.

I couldn't keep it to 10, so here are my top 15.

1. THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz. A simple philosophy that can change our world if we let it.

2. SUCCESS THROUGH A POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE by Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone. The first book I ever read about positive thinking and the power of our thoughts.

3. I DARE YOU by William Danforth. Originally published in 1942 and privately printed for his employees and friends, still relevant today. His American Youth Foundation is still distributing copies and challenging youth today.

4. THE CHOICE by Og Mandino. It's hard to choose only one of Og's books. Every one is great.

5. THE LOST CHOICE by Andy Andrews. Every choice we make counts and every choice has the power to change lives.

6. BEYOND POSITIVE THINKING by Dr.Robert Anthony. I read this book 3 times in 2005. It is a no nonsense formula for focusing our attention and thoughts.

7. REINVENTING YOURSELF by Steve Chandler. 100 ways to motivate yourself. Are you an owner or a victim? Find out.

8. THE DARK SIDE OF THE LIGHT CHASERS by Debbie Ford. Reclaim your power and your dreams.

9. THE HIDDEN MESSAGES IN WATER by Masaru Emoto. This made the invisible web that connects all things more amazing than ever to me.

10. THE POWER OF NOW by Eckhart Tolle. We all tend to live in the past and the future, but there is amazing power in being present in each moment.

11. THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE by Stephen R. Covey. A classic.

12. THE POWER OF ENCOURAGEMENT by Dr. David Jeremiah. Do you want to see massive changes in those around you? Then read this and discover exactly what the title says.

13. PASSIONATE PRESENCE by Catherine Ingram. It taught me the acceptance of my own inner knowing of spirituality.

14. THE FIVE THINGS WE CANNOT CHANGE by David Richo. We find happiness by embracing the 5 inevitable things in life: Everything changes and ends, Things do not always go according to plan, Life is not always fair, Pain is a part of life, and People are not loving and loyal all the time.

15. LEVERAGING THE UNIVERSE AND ENGAGING THE MAGIC by Mike Dooley. A kind of fun way to get the essence of a benevolent and loving universe.

Hope you find some of this interesting and helpful. They all had an influence on me.

Debby Riddick
http://DRiddick.bigmlmtruths.com

It's All About Teamwork

Have you ever heard the saying "It's all about teamwork"? I have. Usually in the context of a coach or boss trying to get me to do something that didn't feel very good. Something that felt like I was being taken advantage of. Something that seemed to work for the coach/boss, not for me. Here's the problem: It really IS about the team. Your team. Your family. Your network marketing group.

We need to stand by each other. We need to do what we can to help each other. In supporting each other we develop the kind of relationships that last through time and circumstances. When we are strong, when we have the time and resources to be there for someone else we need to do that. There will come a day in each of our lives when we will need someone to be there for us.

This is a great video which has been pieced together of folks all over the world singing song. It is from You Tube and is called: Playing For Change: Song Around the World "Stand By Me"

Stand By Me,

Debby Riddick

http://DRiddick.bigmlmsecrets.com

My Top 10 books on Sales and Network Marketing

One of my mentors asked us to send in a list of our top 10 books for sales and/or network marketing.  Here are mine:

1.  THE GREATEST SALESMAN IN THE WORLD by Og Mandino.  This was the first book I read that spoke to me about "thoughts are things" when I was in my 20's.  Actually anything by Og  is fantastic.

2.  THINK AND GROW RICH by Napoleon Hill.  I have studied this book twice before, but I never really studied it to the point that I "got it."  This time with my Mental Cleanse mastermind group it is really getting deeper.  Read this again and again.

3.  BEYOND POSITIVE THINKING by Dr. Robert Anthony.  This was the first book that gave me a framework for affirmations and mental practices.  This is worth really studying.

4.  THE FOUR SPIRITUAL LAWS by Don Miguel Ruiz.  This really gave me a look into my thinking and the basics of spirituality.

5.  THE FIELD by Lynne McTaggart.  I started to have some questions about the legitimacy of this whole "thinking" thing and I found this book which goes into the history of quantum mechanics and how our thinking affects our reality.

6.  THE GREATEST NETWORKER IN THE WORLD by John Milton Fogg.  After having been in and out of 5 or 6 MLM companies which used the old hard-sell methods I found a copy of this book and it dramatically changed my view of network marketing.

7.  SPIRITUAL ECONOMICS by Eric Butterworth.  A great book on money and spirituality.  It fixed by thinking on abundance.

8.  TWELVE PILLARS by Jim Rohn and Chris Widener.  A cute story that has a lot of good lessons.   I liked it so much I gave a copy to everyone I knew a couple of years ago.

9.  SUCCESS IN 10 STEPS by Michael Dlouhy.  This one changed my life and helped me to understand why I was not making it in the company I had given the last 5 years to.  It let me forgive myself for my failure there.

10.  THE 21 IRREFUTABLE LAWS OF LEADERSHIP by John Maxwell.  My favorite among quite a few great books by this author.   One of the best books I have found on the character of leadership.

Debby Riddck

http://DRiddick.bigmlmsecrets.com