Well, we've looked at the head question and the first two parts of the heart question. The thing that quite often holds us back is the last part of this heart question: Do I deserve better? A lot of us seem to hold on to a hidden belief that we do not really deserve any better. Have you ever looked back and realized that you sabotaged something and you can't figure out why?"Who do you think you are?" How many of us heard that when we were growing up? But that misses the point. It is not that we deserve any better than anyone else - we all deserve better than what we are doing to ourselves - what we are getting right now, don't we? We think we do. But what do our actions show? There is a continuum of thinking -- knowing -- believing. It is very easy to say "I deserve better." That is a head statement, a thinking statement. Then we come to a point where we know on a deeper level that we really do deserve better, but we doubt we can have it. Lastly comes a true belief that you really DO deserve better, and here we are willing to take actions toward that because we believe we can actually have it.
If you want to find out what you really believe, look at what you do. Especially what you do over and over again. I am sure we have all made decisions when we knew that we should get more information, but we didn't. Why would we purposely do something that we knew would get less-than-desirable results? Because deep down in our hearts we don't really believe we deserve that success. We keep ourselves in our comfort zone.
So, if we realize we don't believe we really deserve better, what do we do? Ask, "What would I do if I did deserve better?" Then do it! We don't need to wait until we believe it. We just need to take action based on that better decision. When our actions are better, things get better. The belief will come.
Now, a quick recap. Ask the head question: "Am I meeting the real need, informing myself of options, and thinking it through?" Then make the conditional decision. Next, check in with your heart by asking: "Does my decision show I am honest with myself, trust my intuition, and deserve better?" When we have asked the heart question, quite often we will realize that we have not been honest with ourselves or do not trust our intuition/heart. Then we need to go back and re-make that head part of our decision. This will lead us to a much better decision.
Our ability to make good decisions in all areas of our lives is critical to our success in business and in family life. Make a small map of this decision making process and carry it with you or tack it on the wall by the computer/desk. The results will amaze you!
Debby Riddick
